So our first couple date went really well! Ya gotta love another couple who can do shots of Patron and not flinch (guys, not girls). You know you’ve met good friends when you don’t realize the time, are the loudest people (stop laughing – it wasn’t just me!) in the restaurant and are almost the last ones to leave! Quite a good time was had by all! We’ll call them Nate and Kate (pseudonyms of course) – they both grew up on the east coast and just moved here from London back in July. They laughed hysterically when I told them they’d make the blog!
So my new friend Kate and I went for coffee early in the week and after watching me try to walk, she suggested I try out the masseuse at Parkview (remember, the brick fortress in the sky we are currently living in!). After a week of not being able to move, I finally called and got in on Wednesday. I’m not even sure how to begin to describe this massage. Kate did warn me by saying, “you really can’t be a prude, b/c she has no boundaries.” I was fine not being a prude – I mean I don’t wear underwear for a massage, certainly I’m not a prude! I consider myself a massage connoisseur…there is nothing better than laying your ass on a table and having someone rub you for an hour, right? NOTHING could have prepared me for what I was about to experience! It started off okay, although it was a bit different to only have 2 really thin towels covering you (when you are used a nice thick warm blanket). There was no conversation, but I did tell her that my lower back and neck were bothering me. She began firmly on my back, through a towel (a bit different), but I was all set to relax. I closed my eyes and started breathing to get myself in my Zen place. Ahhhhh, you know the feeling….all set for 90 minutes (yep, cause I’m worth it!) all about me!
You might want to sit down for this next part…THEN….she climbed up (I think, I was face down after all) on the table, took the towel off my a** and proceeded to “massage” (I’ll need to continue to use that word in quotes) my piriformis with such vigor, I almost came off the table! For those of you unfamiliar with your piriformis, it’s your butt muscle…if you’ve ever been to PT for your back, you would know all about it!) Tom (my PT in NJ) would have been really proud! All I could think about what how funny this was! It was like something in a movie – you know where you see the Asian massage therapist person jump up and start going at it on someone while they are face down –but that someone was ME! I thought they only did that in movies for effect!
After what felt like the entire 90 minutes, she went on to my lower back (remember, this was what was sore) – again, I almost came off the table. I began breathing as if I was in labor! She went on to the right side of my neck and shoulders, again breathing like I am in labor. At this point, I said…”yeah, that really hurts”…to which she responded, “yeah, yeah, yeah”…not in a sarcastic way like you’d see in the states, more like in agreement. But HOLY SHIT…I’m on the table…if I say it hurts, shouldn’t she stop?? Correction…I came off the table! Now, just so that we are clear – I have a HIGH tolerance for pain…I have dislocated my knee, fractured my femur, had a screw put in my tibia while I was WIDE awake, have given birth to 3 kids (2 sections and 1 in labor for 15 hours with no epidural) and I have 3 boys (they just ooze pain!). But this was DIFFERENT…I paid for this! Where was my relaxing, all about me, have some hot oil rubbed on me time?? When did I sign up for the Kung Fu massage?? When she finally moved on to my left neck and shoulder, I cursed myself for being so self indulgent and getting the 90 minutes…what the *#%*#(@) was I thinking?? Just when you think it is over, I had to flip.
I thought, “thank god!” The front cannot possibly hurt as much as the back….WRONG AGAIN! I explained to her that I had arthritis in both knees and plantar fasciitis (I simply said my heel hurt) in my left heel (yes, I LOVE being 40!) so she needed to go easy on those areas. Just when I thought I was safe…OFF the table again! Didn’t I just tell her my heel hurt??
Finally it was over…I was soooooooo relieved. I didn’t think I could take any more. Although I felt like I was just beaten up by someone probably less than half my weight, I could move! I couldn’t believe it – I was actually walking upright! The down side to that is, it’s Friday and no one can touch me yet - I’m bruised everywhere – even the front of my biceps…no joke!. She commented numerous times on how tight I was…”lots of pain to feel better” – guess I’ll have to go backJ I’ve heard of Tiger Moms but I think I just found my very own Tiger Masseuse!
Kung Hei Fat Choy – Happy New Year!
Since it’s Chinese New Year, Brian had a couple of days off (the kids were off all week!). Today we decided to take the ferry over to Discovery Bay. DB, as the locals call it (it’s also called Disco Bay) seems like a very well planned community (not quite Wisteria Lane but clearly has the potential….)(http://www.discoverybay.com.hk/icms2/template?series=248) with a spectacular view. It is part of Lantau Island (also home to Disneyland). If you are looking at an aerial map of Hong Kong, Lantau is to the left…although I have NO idea what the hell the body of water we cross to get there is called! The ferry ride was about 30 minutes (but this ferry had fancy seats, still rocked like the Andrea Gail though) and upon docking, you see this great beach with kids playing, folks hanging out and everyone truly enjoying a gorgeous day in DB. As we walked down the path, to the right was the ocean and to the left was restaurant after restaurant with outdoor seating and a play area for kids! Now this is brilliant!!!! The US should do this – kids don’t want to sit and watch their parents eat and drink at a leisurely pace, they want to eat and play! Parents don’t want to pay $100 to feel like they just scarfed down fast food! It’s a win-win…BRILLIANT! Funny enough – we ran into our new friends Nate and Kate who were in DB visiting friends of theirs…we made another dateJ
So that’s all for this week. Jack and Benjamin are meeting with a “transitional specialist” for their Cross Cultural Orientation tomorrow morning – should be interesting. Mine is next week!
A final note to parents…how do you get boys to not fight with their hands? Any advice is welcome.
OMG! Laughed until I cried! Looking forward to the next installment.
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