Stop the Crazy Train (or at least get off!)

There is definitely something to be said for taking some time for yourself! In the past 6 weeks, I've actually had some time by myself - to do what I want to do, to read what I want to read, to watch what I want to watch (I'm now addicted to American Idol and Glee!) and I have to say...I'M A BIG FAN! What a GREAT break! I think I am well on my way to learning how to relax. Now, I realize this has been possible because all of the household "duties" (dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc) have been taken over by our Helper, Zenny. Since the 70's, Domestic Helpers have been a very common part of the culture here in Hong Kong. For a bit of history, check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_domestic_helpers_in_Hong_Kong

I have not met one family (although I did hear there was one) that does not have a helper. Having managed childcare help since the kids were born and having an au pair for the past 3 years, Brian and I were comfortable and used to having someone in our house helping us with the kids - what we have never had though was someone who helps with everything in the house - from cooking, grocery shopping (which is a HUGE deal here because there is no Super Stop and Shop or Costco!), laundry, cleaning, ironing, childcare, and everything else in between - basically, she is Alice! Let me tell you, she is out of this world good! We found her because as you know, I will talk to just about anyone and I struck up a random conversation with a woman in the elevator when we lived in Parkview (serviced apartments) and she gave me Zenny's info. For as many good stories about helpers that I've heard, I've also heard just as many horror stories. It comes down to fit - you need to find a person who will fit with your family. As I watch some of my new HK friends navigate the helper arena, I think we had a bit of an edge because we knew what kind of person would fit with our family. But, you never really know until you live with someone, right? It's all good! In fact, it's even better now that she lives with us!!! I definitely feel blessed (and maybe a bit lucky) to find her.

My point in sharing this information is that over the past 6 weeks, I've realized that I was seriously on a CRAZY TRAIN back in NJ! Although I love Ozzy, it was so good for me to get off! Between work, the kids, the house, just everything...it was like we were on a ridiculous roller coaster that never stopped to get new riders. You know, up, down, all around, up, down, all around...it just never seemed to stop. I recently said to Brian that I felt like these past weeks have been the first time I have really thought about things - had the time to just think - like we were always making decisions reactively...something happens, we react, something else happens, we react again, again and again and again. I used to joke with my friends in NJ that I was going to write a book entitled "I'm totally $#^$^#$!# exhausted!" And now I realize I really was - and I had some help! I don't remember feeling that way in KS, but our kids were still young and weren't involved in anything so I don't know if it was just NJ, but I definitely know I felt that way when I left there. Who is this crazy person who insists you can do it all - I'm here to tell you that you can't. Well you can, but it's a pretty good possibility you'll end up in Betty Ford! I was on my walk/hike the other day when I was thinking about this and all of a sudden The Brady Bunch popped into my head - did Carol Brady work? No, she didn't and she had Alice! Everyone with kids needs an Alice! That might be the title of my new book! It's true what they say about it "taking a village." The Asian culture has it right - everyone with kids should get some help! You'll be a hell of lot happier - I know I am:))))

You can see how this life is very enticing and easy to lose your sense of reality. Thank goodness my family will never let me do that! I say this as I just finished reading (yes, reading again! Love it - it reminds me of my summers before I had kids, I could just sit on the beach and read!) "Never Enough." For those of you who are not familiar with this story, it is about the infamous Milkshake Murder story. It's really sad to be honest - in a nutshell, it is the story of the Kissel family who moved from the NYC area to HK back in 1997. In 2003, Nancy killed her husband by drugging him in a milkshake and then literally bludgeoning him to death and rolling his body up in a carpet. They had 3 kids - so totally sad. The book is a good read - interesting to me obviously because we live here, but also, they lived in Parkview and their kids went to the same school our kids go to. Also interesting is that we have some friends in Madison who lived in HK at the same time and their daughter was in the same class - such a small world! Back to my original point - I think it would be very easy to lose yourself here if you are not grounded. Folks (men and women here!) start thinking this is the way you will always live. IT IS NOT! I remind Brian of this every now and again - certainly don't want him getting used to this! Although it may not be the way we will live in the States, I'm going to enjoy it now! I love being able to go on a field trip with one of the boys and not have to worry about juggling work or other kids to make it happen.

So in 3 very short weeks, I will be solo, on a plane with my 3 boys for 16 hours...do I sound excited? That's probably because I'm not. To be perfectly honest, I feel like we all just got settled and now we are upheaving our lives again. Not that I am not excited to see our family and friends (YES!! Very excited for that!) - but I'm now dreading leaving, particularly because I'll be on my own for 6 weeks with no help and then we'll all have to re-acclimate in another 8 weeks ...wish me luck!

Had to add in a couple of pictures for everyone. This one is of an entree we had at dinner with friends called Wild Boar - take a close look!

The second one is window art at a place in the Lan Kwai Fong area. I had to stare for a long time to be sure it wasn't real.

Food for thought! hahaha - see everyone soon!

What's your mantra?

I can’t believe we have actually lived here for 4 months and I haven't written in 5 weeks! Before you know it, we’ll be coming home for good. Crazy how time flies...

So to catch you up, we are fully settled into our new apartment (or flat as everyone here calls it) which is located on the 18th floor of a 36-floor high-rise. Since I really don't like heights, at first I was a bit freaked out. I had many nights of nightmares of my children falling from the balcony - for those of you who know my kids well, particularly my youngest, you know that I had every right to have bad dreams! But, we did what most other families with small kids do, we had safety locks put in every single window (so kids can only open about 3-4 inches), had all the locks moved up so high, I can't even reach them without a stool and we have a VERY strict "No one on the balcony" rule - which surprisingly all the kids adhere to. However, Thomas managed to learn how to open the window and even though they only open 3 inches, he was able to throw our little camera and some toys out of it - from 18 stories up! Another mom had told me a story (literally, the day before) about her kids doing it and I was contemplating having the windows fixed so they would only open an inch...go figure! And, of course he chose the window the faces the front of the building! We were just blessed (God clearly watches out for him!) that someone wasn't walking below...I can't even imagine. I was now seriously reconsidering our choice of a high rise. But I think we scared him enough...he hasn't done it again.

Back to the good stuff...we wake up every day to this view:

It is truly amazing! Being a water person, I simply love it! I have no other words - the ocean calms me like no other force on earth. We have this tiny balcony (and I do mean TINY!) that is just big enough for a grill and 2 chairs. Brian and I love to sit out there, have some cocktails (or coffee in the am) and just chill out! Although I love Madison, the view just doesn't compare. As I am writing this, I'm sitting on our balcony taking it all in!

Kid News
The kids seem to be settling in nicely at the new place. Our complex has a great pool that they swim in daily, tennis courts, a basketball court, and 2 play areas for younger and older kids. So there is always someone to play with and something to play on. The older boys definitely have more freedom than in the US - HK is a really safe place and there is no where for them to go other than the complex so they will often go find friends and play outside without me watching them (except the pool - goes without saying!). Thomas even has a little friend Charlie that he absolutely adores and screams his name VERY loudly whenever he sees him in the pool or playground! I don't have the heart to tell him yet he is moving in probably less than 6 months. That is the thing here - friends will come and go - it'll be a lesson for all of us, I guess.

Some GREAT kid news - we found out that Thomas was accepted into his brothers' school!! Yeah! We are so excited that the school acceptance experience is done and over with. What a HUGE relief! He also seems much more settled - I hope I didn't just jinx us!

Other News

Newfound Favorite Spot!
Some friends of ours introduced Brian to surfing, yes, surfing with an actual BIG surfboard! They also introduced us to a great beach:

One that encourages drinking on the beach! Many of the beaches in HK are on a bay and so they lack waves - not my idea of a beach. This one is perfect! It is nestled between mountains and is just absolutely gorgeous! The first time we went, we got dropped off by the cab and were walking down this very sketchy road-like path passing by a few Chinese beach stores (a very odd site indeed!). I was totally hesitant to say the least and was already thinking of an excuse for why we couldn't stay! The road leading to the beach looks nothing like the paths to the beaches in RI, CA, VA, NJ, NC, HI, etc. -basically any place I've ever been! But we finally got down to the end and landed on this incredible beach with great sand and waves - needless to say, we spend part of almost every weekend at the beach. The boys love it and now they want to learn to surf! Plus they have this great little beach snack shack that feeds us all for like $30! You can't beat that!!

No more job...
After we found out about Thomas' school spot, I could finally resign from my job at FDU. As I sat down to write the letter, I had a really strange feeling...I've always worked. Since the age of 13 (technically, I was supposed to be 14 but my mother forged my birth certificate so I could work at Taco Bell - apparently high school, 3 sports, student council, and yearbook weren't enough for me to keep busy, I needed to work as well! But that's another story!) I have had a job. There have been a few times when I haven't had a job for a few weeks, but I can't remember a time longer than that. Then there was the first year we moved to KS and I was writing my dissertation, but let's be honest, that was still a JOB!

My book I was working on is done, except for the final edit once we get it back from the publisher and I've had about a month of nothing to work on. It's a weird feeling - I know some of you reading this will tell me to stop moaning and just enjoy, so I want to be clear, I'm definitely not complaining! I'm just wondering where I fit in...you know, for someone who has always worked outside the house (I make that distinction because I really don't like the work in the house, hence I always had a job outside!), I think I got a great deal of my self-worth and validation through working. So when I don't have that in my life, there are times that I am left thinking, "what the hell am I doing?" So I came up with a new Mantra..."I'm going to learn how to relax." I'm not going to feel guilty - I think that's it...the guilt!!! It just came to me as I was writing, it's the guilt of just sitting on my ass and doing whatever I want to do in the middle of the day - I've never done it! Why...because there was always something to do! Let's trace this back, peel back the onion as I say...who can I blame this on??...my Irish Catholic family of course! The guilt will kill you if you let it! Although my brother-in-law David will say, "no one can MAKE you feel anything." Words to live by!

Back to my new mantra - I'm going to learn how to relax....
So I took up tennis lessons. I'm playing once a week, well, learning to play! My goal is to give my brother a run for his money this summer.

I've been trying to get a workout in at least 5 days a week - hell, I should be able to get out of the chair to do that! HK has a lot of hiking trails and so I made it my goal to try out a couple of them. I've blogged about hiking here before, so let's remember, there is a lot of walking on concrete steps (aka, hiking!). This week I did a hike called "Violet Hill", I've now nicknamed it "Violent Hill." We started in Repulse Bay and hiked up to Parkview (yes, infamous site of Milkshake Murder and our former residence). On the hike itself, I felt good, except that it was really humid and difficult to breath at times, but we stopped, had water, caught our breath, and kept going. All in all, was proud of myself for doing it! Then we got in the car to come home and I started to feel nauseous. I came home, took a shower and had to go to bed!! I slept for about 2 - 2.5 hours! How awful is that! I woke up just in time to get the kids off the bus. Here's the view from that day:

Today, I did a hike called the Dragon's Back - now this was much more my speed! It's a 5-mile hike but nothing like the constant stair stepper of earlier! This is one of the most popular hikes because it is truly beautiful! You literally walk across the top of the mountains and so the views are spectacular - see below:

So much better! And look, I didn't even have to take to the bed! I'm able to function!

More later - kids are getting off the bus...thus, my real job begins:)
We are back stateside in about 5 weeks!
xoxoxo
Sharon